Last day...what!?

Folks, this is it. The last day in Colorado. As cliche as this may be, I can't believe this day has already arrived. Two weeks ago I was just arriving in Estes Park, scared of what these two weeks would hold, sad to leave so many people behind, and intimidated by the job I have to do. Right now? I am still sad at times, I miss Max & my family A LOT. I'm nervous to travel. But, I don't think I'm scared anymore...

These two weeks have been chock full of training, friends, laughter, and most of all: Jesus. As my last post stated, sometimes it's hard for me to remember my worth in the eyes of my Creator, regardless of how hard I have worked in recovery from my eating disorder. And, as my last post said, God has been pushing to get through once again. I thought maybe Tuesday night was the extent of that reassurance from Him. Then Wednesday happened. We had an awesome dinner at Group Publishing with all of the directors and MC's (by the way, did you know that they have a Wii, 2 ping pong tables, HUGE bean bags, and a mini-golf course all on the top floor for the staff to use??). We did that activity of prayer for a partner and listening for God's words for that person again, this time with a different person. My new partner heard the word "daughter" for me. It was perfect in the context of my struggles to accept and appreciate myself as a daughter of the King. This was only the beginning. That night during staff community worship time, Jesus swept through the testimony of a staffer, and for me personally broke down the rest of the barriers that I always seem to put up when I start allowing ED to win me over. I cried, I worshipped, I watched my brothers & sisters on staff lift each other up as we all let Jesus work on us.

Now, my experience Wednesday doesn't stop with the beauty of that worship session. As usual, I called Max for our nightly phone date. I assumed that my tears were dried and I was ready to tell him about the work Jesus was doing. But, as we learned in training, we should never assume. At the sound of "Hey! How are you doing?" the water works came. Once I got through explaining, Max got his Bible to have what he calls a "Holy Bajoblie" session. He flipped to Ezekiel 41:17-18, Psalm 7:15, & Romans 16:27 and somehow strung them all together into a beautiful piece of encouragement that I needed to hear. Then, before we hung up I asked him to pray for me...this was kind of a big deal because Max does not pray out loud. Ever. He just doesn't like to. But, he prayed for me. His choice of words, "Lord, remind Noelle of what a wonder she is" have just stuck with me all week. It was such a cool thing for me to hear and for us in general.

And it all makes sense why something like this happened. I've heard it hasn't happened at training before, but it still makes sense. If we don't let Jesus have His way in us now, tearing us apart to put us back together more whole than we ever were before, there's no way that we can stand in a position to lead kids to the foot of the cross this summer as effectively as possible. It was hard and many of us seemed to have brokenness that needed some starter repairs. And now we have earned our red shirts, loaded our trucks, and will be on our way this time tomorrow!

And just for fun, here are a few songs I'm obsessed with...

"Great I Am" & "Glory to God Forever" & "Whom Shall I Fear (God of Angel Armies)"

Pray for the 2013 staff that will begin the trek across the country tomorrow! Pray Ephesians 3:16-21 & 1 Thessalonians 1:2-3 over us.

Love y'all!